Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:42 pm Posts: 4091 Location: the Netherlands
I'm posting this here so people spot it when looking at the announcement. A seperate thread cause otherwise it'll get lost somewhere in between all the replies.
Paul, Alains brother, asked me to translate this message and post it here.
Quote:
About Alain I can tell you that his personality problems have been ongoing for more then 20 years, often with very deep depressions (it's more then just personality problems but it's hard to word it accurately). Alain has lived a solitary existance in his house the last 10 years, just the last 1-2 years things seemed to go better with him. As a consequence of his problems he didn't maintain contacts with his family all this time. Only my mother spoke with him occaisonally but these conversations were very superficial. I can imagine the absolute devastation of the replies to the news of his passing. I'm convinced that he has never expressed anything about his problems here and on other websites. In an email to AJU he tells that he was extremely happy to do that particular work (website building). This has a reason: it was a convenient way to keep everything and everybody at a safe distance and this way his problems would remain unrevealed.I know of two fairs were he met with people. Those who met him will probably state that they didn't notice anything. The explanation for this lies in his sense of humor; with this he hid his true feelings. I can't state that this is a 100% bulletproof statement. I don't have all the answers either but I think this is a theory that comes close to expressing the truth.
Because of the lack of contact with Alain I don't know much about his activities and networks. It would do me and the rest of the family a lot of good to get a better picture of this. Who can help us with this?
Alain will be burried oncoming saturday. He will be placed next to his grandfather and grandmother. Our father died 9 years ago and has been cremated. The urn containg his ashes will be placed with Alain in the coffin.(this isn't allowed in the Netherlands so lips sealed everybody). This wasn't an explicit wish of Alain but we have arranged this for him. The spot on the cemetry next to Alain has been reserved for our mother when she passes away (an event that I don't wish to think of now of course). I'm sure that all this would please Alain very much.
Saturday, after the service, the people present will receive a mourning card. The text on it has been finalized yesterday and probably gives a good insight into who Alain was. It reads:
Quote:
In memory of Alain van Acker
* 22 may 1965 in Tilburg, the Netherlands + 23 march 2009 in Tilburg, the Netherlands
Alain,
How you excelled with all your talents your musicality your artisticy you, knowledgable expert you wanted to prove yourself, with passion Perfectionist!
what a wonderfull comedian you were searching for the art of life often hidden behind humor you benefited from structure but always looking for the balance between what's enough and what's too much occaisionally lost in between the two extremes
How vulnerable you were incertain, fearfull sometimes you felt you didn't do enough a huge need of acknowledgement sometimes not knowing what to do, powerless and very sensitive!
you were like a precious jewel full of colour and sharp contrast but how hard it was for you for us to deal with all that diversity
Alain, sincerely, we respect your choice.
Thanks everybody for your compassion over the goodbye of Alain.
Jopie Ingeborg Paul
I can imagine that many people at (literally) vast distances away will be left with many questions. It is therefor that I will try to keep informing everybody as good as possible.
On behalf of the family I want to thank you all for your messages, they give strength.
Paul van Acker
Last edited by Tim on Thu Mar 26, 2009 2:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:42 pm Posts: 4091 Location: the Netherlands
I´m keeping Paul updated on all this. Him reading the numerous reactions in the thread above this one made him write this mail. All the reactions give the family strength. Thank you all for them too.
Has the family made a suggestion for where donations can be made in Alain's name? Maybe there is a scholarship program at Gem-A or a research project he supported? Maybe some way we can help with the Gemology Project?
_________________ Beth http://www.prettyrock.com http://www.prettyrock.com/2012facetingcompetition.htm Avon Breast Cancer Walk - Charlotte 2011 http://info.avonfoundation.org/goto/Beth
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:42 pm Posts: 4091 Location: the Netherlands
Hi Beth, let's get him to the earth first. Thoughts like yours have crossed my mind as well though. Let's see what we can come up with once we get our heads straight again. With Alain being the educator he was, something like scholarships seems very apt.
Joined: Fri May 12, 2006 11:24 am Posts: 7523 Location: Rome, Italy
i think instead of send flowers i'll made a gemmo-equip gift to a couple of gemmo-addicted friends in Alain's name explaining who he was and what he made for gemology education. i think he will be happy for that.
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:42 pm Posts: 4091 Location: the Netherlands
Alain didn't act out of an impulse. He has made arrangements for everything. It was a well planned act. As to what will happen with things like the GP... you'll see. It will stay online I can assure you that.
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2005 11:45 am Posts: 1107 Location: Cape Elizabeth, Maine
Alberto wrote:
i think instead of send flowers i'll made a gemmo-equip gift to a couple of gemmo-addicted friends in Alain's name explaining who he was and what he made for gemology education. i think he will be happy for that.
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