It is with great sadness I'd like to announce Dr. Hanneman passed away on December 12, 2020. His legacy will live on forever!
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 Post subject: A letter from Paul van Acker
PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 10:42 am 
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I'm posting this here so people spot it when looking at the announcement. A seperate thread cause otherwise it'll get lost somewhere in between all the replies.

Paul, Alains brother, asked me to translate this message and post it here.


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About Alain I can tell you that his personality problems have been ongoing for more then 20 years, often with very deep depressions (it's more then just personality problems but it's hard to word it accurately). Alain has lived a solitary existance in his house the last 10 years, just the last 1-2 years things seemed to go better with him. As a consequence of his problems he didn't maintain contacts with his family all this time. Only my mother spoke with him occaisonally but these conversations were very superficial. I can imagine the absolute devastation of the replies to the news of his passing. I'm convinced that he has never expressed anything about his problems here and on other websites. In an email to AJU he tells that he was extremely happy to do that particular work (website building). This has a reason: it was a convenient way to keep everything and everybody at a safe distance and this way his problems would remain unrevealed.I know of two fairs were he met with people. Those who met him will probably state that they didn't notice anything. The explanation for this lies in his sense of humor; with this he hid his true feelings. I can't state that this is a 100% bulletproof statement. I don't have all the answers either but I think this is a theory that comes close to expressing the truth.

Because of the lack of contact with Alain I don't know much about his activities and networks. It would do me and the rest of the family a lot of good to get a better picture of this. Who can help us with this?

Alain will be burried oncoming saturday. He will be placed next to his grandfather and grandmother. Our father died 9 years ago and has been cremated. The urn containg his ashes will be placed with Alain in the coffin.(this isn't allowed in the Netherlands so lips sealed everybody). This wasn't an explicit wish of Alain but we have arranged this for him. The spot on the cemetry next to Alain has been reserved for our mother when she passes away (an event that I don't wish to think of now of course). I'm sure that all this would please Alain very much.

Saturday, after the service, the people present will receive a mourning card. The text on it has been finalized yesterday and probably gives a good insight into who Alain was. It reads:

Quote:
In memory of Alain van Acker

* 22 may 1965 in Tilburg, the Netherlands
+ 23 march 2009 in Tilburg, the Netherlands

Alain,

How you excelled with all your talents
your musicality
your artisticy
you, knowledgable expert
you wanted to prove yourself, with passion
Perfectionist!

what a wonderfull comedian you were
searching for the art of life
often hidden behind humor
you benefited from structure
but always looking for the balance
between what's enough and what's too much
occaisionally lost in between the two extremes

How vulnerable you were
incertain, fearfull sometimes
you felt you didn't do enough
a huge need of acknowledgement
sometimes not knowing what to do, powerless
and very sensitive!

you were like a precious jewel
full of colour and sharp contrast
but how hard it was for you
for us
to deal with all that diversity

Alain, sincerely, we respect your choice.

Thanks everybody for your compassion over the goodbye of Alain.

Jopie
Ingeborg
Paul


I can imagine that many people at (literally) vast distances away will be left with many questions. It is therefor that I will try to keep informing everybody as good as possible.

On behalf of the family I want to thank you all for your messages, they give strength.


Paul van Acker


Last edited by Tim on Thu Mar 26, 2009 2:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 10:51 am 
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Thank you, Tim. Please thank Paul, too.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 10:54 am 
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Thank you Tim.

Does Paul have a link to GO? Perhaps it would bring him some
comfort to be able to read Alain's posts and get some insight
into his brother?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 10:57 am 
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I´m keeping Paul updated on all this. Him reading the numerous reactions in the thread above this one made him write this mail. All the reactions give the family strength. Thank you all for them too.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:00 am 
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thank you mate

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:06 am 
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I receive many questions about the possibility to send flowers for the funeral. I checked it with Paul and this is possible.

We will place a large piece on his grave on behalf of all of us (all GO members) as well but if you wish to do something personally that is possible.

The address of the funeral peoples:

DELA uitvaartcentrum
Karel Boddenweg 3
5044 EL Tilburg
phone: +31 13 456 08 56
uctilburg@dela.org

here's two links of companies that arrange global flower deliveries:

http://www.floraqueen.com/

http://www.mondialflowers.com/contact.aspx

(Nuck, that rose will be placed there by me personally)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:17 am 
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Can we send them or you, an email about Alain?

Tim, thank you.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:21 am 
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shot you a pm with Paul's email


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:36 am 
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Thanks Tim


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:11 pm 
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Has the family made a suggestion for where donations can be made in Alain's name? Maybe there is a scholarship program at Gem-A or a research project he supported? Maybe some way we can help with the Gemology Project?

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:32 pm 
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Hi Beth, let's get him to the earth first. Thoughts like yours have crossed my mind as well though. Let's see what we can come up with once we get our heads straight again. With Alain being the educator he was, something like scholarships seems very apt.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:32 pm 
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i think instead of send flowers i'll made a gemmo-equip gift to a couple of gemmo-addicted friends in Alain's name explaining who he was and what he made for gemology education. i think he will be happy for that.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:40 pm 
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The Gemology Project is a good question.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:45 pm 
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Alain didn't act out of an impulse. He has made arrangements for everything. It was a well planned act. As to what will happen with things like the GP... you'll see. It will stay online I can assure you that.

Albè,
wonderful thought.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:47 pm 
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Alberto wrote:
i think instead of send flowers i'll made a gemmo-equip gift to a couple of gemmo-addicted friends in Alain's name explaining who he was and what he made for gemology education. i think he will be happy for that.


I think he would have loved that gesture.


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